I’ve acted out of turn: conditioning those around me to work towards my belief of what success and safety look like. But this approach is narrow and conceited—it ignores the humanity of people and our world. It’s impossible to know. So in my pursuit to control and make believe that I knew, I banished beauty. And this is why beauty feels so good—because it’s the opposite of this conditioning that I absorbed and continued. Basking in beauty ignites the subtle part of me beneath the conditioning that sincerely wants to be set free. It means so much because it’s so opposite. And by this property I can notice with certainty I was trying to condition and control. If the bliss of beauty didn’t feel as tender or arresting than it would mean I didn’t harbor in me this conditioning. But this is not the fact. Beauty is infinitely moving and so that proves conditioning was there. The bliss of beauty denoted the contrast and exposed the root of transformation. And so this arising sense of wonder and beauty wants to live in me now instead of the conditioning. What would it be like not to avoid the beautiful arrest of beauty?